Wisdom Teeth.

It has been one week since the extraction of my wisdom teeth, an experience way too filled with anxiety. Leading up I wallowed and paced wondering what was going to happen...my heart raced and I would feel dizzy just thinking of it. Alas it was all for nothing. I go and meet my Russian oral surgeon.

Side Note: There is something about Russian men that when they talk you believe everything they say. HOT.

Strap on the nitrous fill me with novocaine and start crunching. I listened to Architecture of Helsinki on my iPod while drills whirled and teeth crunched. I wish I could have recorded the experience just in audio form it was sort of surreal. After only a half hours time I am released into the wild with a numb mouth and bleeding holes in my head.

My friend Kimmy comes to pick me up...in the meantime I go to attempt to obtain my prescription pain killers. The feeling of your lips being bigger than Angelina Jolie's after collogen and the inability to speak make it difficult to get your point across. Through a serious of mumbles, hand gestures and multiple forms of ID I place my order.

I stand outside for 15 minutes waiting, bored, attempting to hide what I think my face looks like. The moment of truth, picking up the prescription. This may sound mean but it is not intended that way. The woman who was filling my order I believe was hard of hearing. I don't think she heard me say I had my wisdom teeth out...that being said.

I say my name, i sound a little slow....she responds and sounds just like me. So just imagine what's going on in her mind while I'm trying to speak properly and she has never been able to. Definately my Seinfeld moment for the day. At least she didn't replace my percocet with viagra or estrogen.

All in all it was nothing...I ate a ton of soup had two days off of work and experienced NO bruising or swelling that anyone saw...I am still left with two gaping holes though that store food like a chipmunk. When I "irrigate" as the surgeon put it entire pieces of broccoli appear like I'm David Blane or something. I want to make a photo diary of irrigation...I could be new and modern or some shit.